Have you ever analyzed what it is about great books or movies that make them moving or memorable? You know, the ones you think about for days after you’ve finished them? If you’re like me, did you wish the book would never end because you loved having those characters in your life? Or, did you watch the movie three times and discover something new each time?
The reason these stories are so compelling is that, as humans, our brain loves a story. It is the natural way our mind works. Whenever we receive disparate bits of information, our brain gets busy turning information into a story because it is how our mind makes sense of information.
There is also another aspect of the well-told story that attracts us. It is our intuitive identification with the story’s protagonist (hero). We vicariously live through their experiences, learn with them, experience joy, terror, or bravery with them, but without the consequence of death or pain or other experiences our hero endures.
Are you or your school leaders reluctant heroes?
One of the compelling aspects of great stories is what writers and directors call the story arc. The story or narrative arc is about a reluctant hero who is challenged to solve a problem to get what she wants. The next stage in the arc is our hero trying to achieve those wants, but failing each time. Finally, at least for the timeless stories, our hero is forced to realize that what she wants isn’t what she needs. If our hero is a true hero, she will accept this significant change and go after the need instead of the want, recognizing it as a better long-term solution to all her problems. The hero’s character evolves and improves. That is one reason you know a hero from a villain; the villain will never change.
This is a common dilemma in K–12 education today. Many school leaders are focused on maintaining the status quo (as the reluctant hero) because they believe they know what they want and those wants, when satisfied, will solve all their problems. They don’t recognize that meeting their needs provides longer-term and more rewarding results.
Often this belief is based on “what others are doing.” However, doing the same thing we’ve always done (or what our peers have always done) won’t bring about change and is also the definition of insanity. Change is hard. Taking risks is hard. Causing disruption is hard. But improvements can't happen in the status quo.
What are your wants versus needs?
Have you ever seen the video called “It isn’t about the nail”? If not, check it out. The video’s purpose, while directed at communication challenges (arguably between males and females), is a hysterical clip about what I’m describing here about wants and needs.
In the video example, our troubled young woman is trying hard to express her “wants,” but her companion is trying to tell her about needs instead. If she’d only address her needs, it would take care of her wants. But alas, she is committed to having her wants heard at this point.
Of course, there is a time and place to vent about our wants. Been there; done that. Just ask my husband! However, this article isn’t one of those times.